Thank you so much for being one of the recipients of my first newsletter ever! If you feel like giving me feedback, hit reply. I would love to hear from you. Now let’s get to it.
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I recently finished Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth. In it, he talks about the hero’s journey, a story pattern (and metaphor for the personal growth journey/growing up) that’s present in virtually all cultures.
In this pattern, a protagonist leaves (or is forced to leave) the comfort of their ordinary life, faces grueling but character-revealing challenges and trials, and returns transformed, having at long last embraced who they really are—a hero.
Some have critiqued the hero’s journey pattern, calling it too individualistic. I disagree.
At special, initiatory moments in our lives, we all find ourselves at odds with what those around us are doing. Or a huge life change, like getting fired, pushes us into brand-new territory. Other people can help, but ultimately, we’re the one facing a decision point.
That’s where our journey begins.
Right now, the planet, our political structures, and our culture are changing around us. Many of us are going through very similar experiences—an inner discomfort, a feeling of being pushed in unfamiliar directions. Lots of us (myself included) are finding new and creative ways to distract ourselves from these feelings!
The more I study history, the way other societies have lived, and what a full, worthwhile life actually entails—the more I realize that accepting these “calls to growth” is exactly what takes life from stagnant and distracted to alive and deeply rewarding. Like the exceptional anthropologist David Graeber believed—to be human IS to experiment, learn and recreate yourself.
In that spirit: I have been taking baby steps down my own hero’s path, and I’d like to share with you one tool that’s helped more than anything else (thank you to the extraordinary Brenna Dragos for introducing me to it). It’s also brought some desperately-needed fun and silliness back into my life.
It’s called: do something that makes you cringe.
Something that makes you wince internally and wonder “what will people think?!”
It might sound pointless. Why bother? But the results are undeniable. When I’ve tried this—from awkwardly putting my hands up in the air while checking out a book from the library, to showing up to a photoshoot in a way-too-short dress I’ve never worn outside my house—I’ve discovered that three things happen immediately:
- Life feels sillier, less mundane. You can’t put your hands up in a library for three minutes and stay serious. I giggled my whole walk back to the car, feeling like I got away with something.
- Strangely, I often feel more seen afterward. I’ve found people tend to really appreciate authenticity and uniqueness, even if it’s weird. Someone will catch your eye and smile along with you, or give you a compliment on the very thing that makes you cringe.
- I feel my life start to expand. The more I do little things that make me cringe, things I’d normally avoid because of the low-level discomfort they make me feel, the bigger my comfort zone gets, and the less nervous I feel about doing even more challenging things.
I would challenge you to, in some small way this week, leave the comfort of your ordinary life, say “yes” to something that makes you cringe, and see what you discover. Take yourself on your own tiny version of a hero’s journey, and I bet you’ll come away knowing something new about yourself.
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Main point: A thriving community is made up of people with different strengths playing equally crucial roles. By tripping our way down our own “hero’s path”, we start to let go of the false safety of comfort and move toward who we’ve dreamed of being, and toward our new role as part of an even better whole.
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My goal with this weekly newsletter is to reframe things in a way that makes you think and leaves you feeling a little more at ease or excited about life. I’ll also be sharing updates on my own life.
Future themes will include: authenticity; reconciling loyalty to self vs community; building a healthy relationship to social media; the role of pleasure in a good life; what it means to be a fully-realized human, and much more.
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Check out my new Instagram, where I share the cringey things I try and their results!
And please, hit reply if you have thoughts about what could make this newsletter more impactful.
Gratefully, Alisha
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