On dreams and goals, and why we think they have to be “hard”

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Thanks for reading my second newsletter ever! The first one didn’t make it to some inboxes—if you haven’t seen it yet, take a look here. I fixed the issue so that shouldn’t happen going forward. Now let’s get to it.

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I’ve always thought going after a dream or big goal was reserved for the ambitious. I thought, to chase a dream, you’ve got to want it bad enough to sacrifice. To hustle, to push, and to deal with how hard it feels. If you’re not willing to do that, better give up on wanting big things, right? Actually—this couldn’t be further from the truth.

That used to be me. I pushed hard because my goals were so important to me, only to burn out from all the pressure I put on myself!

By the time we reach adulthood (or our 30s, or midlife), we’ve usually been knocked over by life a few times, and it’s easy to say, “You know what? I’m fine with good-enough.” We tell ourselves that our weird, big dreams, the ones that others might raise their eyebrows at us for, would take too much effort. We’re just “not that type of person”.

That’s what I did from 2020 to 2024. What I’ve realized is—funny enough—even if we want nothing more than a simple, honest, happy life, we can’t get there without paying attention to our big desires. Or getting pleasure out of pursuing them!

Life wants to be fully lived and enjoyed. Here’s how I know this:

Dreaming big comes naturally to kids. And they certainly don’t “hustle”. They play. They learn everything they can about the thing they're obsessed with. They chase it without trying. What were your obsessions? Mine was the Titanic. Boats and the ocean—the adventure, the mystery, the power of the water—still thrill me.

Kids are comfortable with a very basic truth that, as adults, we easily lose sight of.

Going after what we really want is actually what humans have evolved to do. It comes naturally to us.

And going after our goals and dreams has this near-magical way of showing us exactly where our weak spots are: what to work on to become more fully capable of handling the challenges no one escapes facing in life.

How? Through failure!

In 2020, I started to avoid failure (and discomfort) like the plague. But it made me feel increasingly stagnant and restless—and even further away from living a truly satisfied life.

So why not dream a little? What does your inner child want to go after? Why not:

• Learn more about it
• Notice what parts of that dream you’ve already got (also known as gratitude, and when you do it right, it feels amazing)
• Take one little step toward it, even if it makes you cringe (see last week’s newsletter)! For instance, if your dream is playing music, show up to an open mic and perform! Look a little stupid, feel a lot more alive.

What I’ve found as I’ve started to follow my dreams more is, no matter how silly they may seem, they are teaching me about myself (the biggest gift of all) and showing me pieces of my purpose: what I’m here to do.

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My goal with this weekly newsletter is to reframe things in a way that makes you think and leaves you feeling an expanded sense of possibility. I also share offerings and updates on my own life.

I'd love if you forwarded this to someone you know who has a dream. Also, have thoughts on this topic? Replies welcome! Gratefully, Alisha